One blistering summer day way back when, I went to Warped Tour. I strolled through the open field under an unforgiving sun. I was dehydrated and sweating through my skull & crossbone tank top. My scene hair was a giant sweaty sun-bleached catastrophe. As the day went on I forgot to reapply my sunscreen. Ok […]
Read more "Sunburn, I Think Not"
I have used all of my magical expensive fancy potions and masks from the mystical land of Sephora. My face is still on the fritz. Maybe April is the month my skin has decided to throw its middle finger up at me just to show me love don’t live here anymore. Tonight, I made the […]
Read more "Magic Isn’t Real: My Face Is Still On The Fritz"
Because I have a problem with doing things like every other beloved blogger, I’m going to share my product “empties” with you today, in the middle of the month…the next month after the month that the products actually became “empties”. Or in some cases, almost empties. No, I haven’t been hoarding these empty containers for […]
Read more "An Empty Month: If It’s Empty, I Liked It"
My skin isn’t like our President: it hates the idea of change. The fluctuation in the climate and life have wreaked havoc upon my facial region. Oily skin with dry patches, pores you could stick your finger in, red blotches,big acne, little acne,cystic acne, a tiny hobbit and a lake of fire…who has this? Anyone? […]
Read more "Sheet Masks and Yodeling Pores"
Have you ever woken up in the morning, dragged yourself to the bathroom only to be horrified by the face peering back at you from the mirror? I’m so not implying that you’re having an ugly moment. I am saying you’re probably having a “Wtf?! When did my face get lines there? Are these really […]
Read more "That Quarter Life Crisis: Realness"
I’m over this New York Winter like Janis Ian was totally over Regina George and her monstrous behavior by the 5th scene in Mean Girls. It’s that serious Sometimes our body parts need a good abrasive exfoliation treatment. You can read about why I rub coffee on me, if you want. Now, usually I would […]
Read more "My Winter Lips Struggle: A Review"
I stand there staring at my face in the bathroom mirror after a long day. For the most part my foundation is still intact, except where I have that reoccurring “nervous” itch in the middle of my forehead. It’s red there. All the time. There’s some major oil slicks happening all over my round face. […]
Read more "Wipe That Face Off Of Your Face!"
When I was a teenager my gramma suggested demanded I take the used coffee grounds from the coffee filter and use them on my skin. The look I gave her was that of sheer confusion. The look she shot back at me was the look of someone who meant serious business. Coffee grounds? Is this […]
Read more "Coffee: I Rub It On Me"
Maybe I should write a letter to genetics. I’m almost certain my skin conditions are related to my gene pool. Dear Genetics, I’ve got oily skin for days. However, as you know the skin under my eyes is another story. Why is this? I thought we were cool? I’m confused. This is costing me a […]
Read more "Desperation: My Under Eye Struggle"
Have you ever fallen asleep with makeup on only to wake up the next day with an unwanted visitor on your face? I haven’t. My gramma would be hovering over my bed with a jar of Pond’s cold cream ready to go on any given night when I got home. “You’re gonna have pimples everywhere! […]
Read more "Derma Rollin’ With The Homies"